Off to a rough start.

I hate to admit that I am struggling this semester.

The work is piling up, I've failed a test, missed a class, turned in two late assignments, missed one assignment & I am completely lost in my coding class. I am also pretty sure that I won’t do well on this test tomorrow.

I get so pissed off when I see someone younger than me with an education, a great career, a house and wonder "What the hell is wrong with me?" "Why am I almost thirty years old and still working on my associates?” And then I wonder if perhaps I am just stupid and "A late bloomer" as my mother would put it. (Thanks mom) I know I'm not an idiot but I just can't help but wish I had made entirely different decisions in life.
But I really don't have anyone else to blame but myself.

I just continue to catastrophise, worry, obsess, and end up feeling sorry for myself and procrastinating even more on my homework. I know that I have to suck it up and keep going but I have no motivation to continue right now.